“Delight yourself also in the Lord, and he shall give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord, trust also in Him, and He shall bring it to pass.” Psalm 37:4-5 (NKJV)
I had prayed much with few results. My writing was still fruitless though I spent most of my energy on it. Attempting to find direction and solace, I opened my Bible to Psalm 37:4-5 and read. When was the last time I had spent any length of time in God’s word? When had I last worshiped with praise music pouring out my speakers instead of tapping away at the keyboard? What was the last Scripture I had memorized and when? I couldn’t answer. It had been too long since I did any of them. I realized, without much feeling, I had exchanged delight in the Lord for delight in writing. The barter left me frustrated, cold-hearted and empty.
Fear of God told me I had to change.
Out of obedience, I asked God to help me restore my delight in Him, yet my heart wasn’t in it. As I prayed, it (my heart) said, “Then He will give you your heart’s desires. You will finally get published regularly and be fulfilled.” What my heart spoke stirred more emotion in me than the thought of delighting in God. With shame I realized I could not use God to get article ideas or arrive at publication. Attempting to delight in Him so He would fulfill my writing desires was adulterated delight that God would not honor, for it was still delight in writing, only cleverly disguised.
We cannot fool God into granting our desires, even if we fool ourselves by appearing to follow His word. May we examine ourselves and do whatever we must to worship Him with true,
Lord, please forgive us for seeking to please You so we can have our own ways. Help us relinquish our agendas and delight in You alone. Thank You, Father. Amen.
Brandy S. Brow lives in Vermont with her husband and seven children. She enjoys entertaining, teaching, and encouraging through the written word, and loves to help writers via freelance editing and mentorship. www.brandybrow.com