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Monday, July 14, 2008

Love As A Way of Life

Special Drawing!

Gary Chapman's new book describes habits we can adopt to lead a more fulfilling and loving life. Please leave a comment (with your email address) if you'd like a chance to win a copy of this book. Deadline for entry is Sunday July 20th.

Love As A Way of Life

In his first major work since the publication of his phenomenal bestseller The Five Love Languages, Dr. Chapman delivers a powerful plan for whole-life happiness, with simple yet intensive exercises and wisdom for finding the life you have always wanted. The way in which our individual lives are improved, says Chapman, is through improving each relationship in your life: with your parents your children, your coworkers, and your spouse, and for all human interactions that form the foundations of our lives. With breakthrough strategies for developing new ways of accepting and responding to the gift of love, Love as a Way of Life nurtures the essential qualities of Kindness, Patience, Forgiveness, Courtesy, Humility, Generosity, and Honesty. Memorable real-life stories and inspiring advice make this an ideal book to share with others, fostering meaningful conversations about the incredible possibilities that emerge when love becomes a habit.

In his previous work, Dr. Chapman brought to light the different ways people express love, but in Love as a Way of Life he reveals that every aspect of your life can be improved by placing love at the center of everything you do. As Rick Warren does in The Purpose Driven Life, Chapman illuminates the profound influence of spiritual insight and understanding on our daily lives.

Using real-life anecdotes, he examines the obstacles and misunderstandings that undermine relationships, and provides quizzes and exercises to help readers evaluate their own strengths and weaknesses. Rich in wisdom and inspiration, Love as a Way of Life is an invaluable guide to creating fulfilling and satisfying relationships and reaping the joys of living a love-driven life.

Author Bio: Gary Chapman is the author of twenty-five books, including the New York Times bestseller The Five Love Languages, with more than 4 million copies in print. His daily radio program, A Love Language Minute, is broadcast on more than 100 stations nationwide. Chapman, a graduate of Moody Bible Institute, Wheaton College, Wake-Forest University, and Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary, serves on the pastoral staff at Calvary Baptist Church in Winston-Salem, North Carolina

Interview with The Author:
1. Describe some of the everyday situations that can be changed if a person has a foundation of love.
When love becomes the focus of ones life it will change every encounter we have with people. In the family, the husband is thinking, “what can I do before I leave for work that would be helpful for my wife?” Such thinking may lead him to take the trash out, put his breakfast plates in the dishwasher or feed the baby while his wife takes a shower.
In the workplace, employees are asking, “on my break, what might I do that would help someone else?” They will also make time to listen to a co-worker who seems to be having a hard time with a personal issue.
At the bank, post office, or cafeteria, the lover will look people in the eye and smile, perhaps opening the door to a conversation. They will express interest in what is going on in the lives of those they encounter.
The focus is not on “it’s all about me.” But, rather on “It is all about others.”

2. What is the take-away message of Love as a Way of Life?
Love as a Way of Life is designed to help the person who sincerely wants to make a positive impact in the world. I believe that is ‘most of us.’ Our biggest problem is that we don’t know how and we keep getting tripped up by our own selfish ambitions. The purpose of the book is to help us break free from the prison of selfishness and come to experience the satisfaction of truly loving others as a way of life. It is little acts of love that build up to a lifestyle of service.

3. Why do you need a foundation of love before you start figuring out our love languages?
The five love languages give information on the most effective way to express love in a meaningful way to a particular person. But, if you are not a loving person – don’t have the heart or will to focus on others – the information is of little value. Most of us must make a conscious change of focus from self to others if we are going to genuinely, and consistently enrich the lives of others. Love as a Way of Life is designed to help people make that change.

4. When did you realize the need for this book?
I first recognized the need for Love as a Way of Life when in a counseling session a husband said to me, “I’ll tell you right now, if it is going to take my washing dishes, and doing the laundry for my wife to feel loved, you can forget that.” I had just explained to him the concept of the five love languages and that his wife’s primary love language was ‘acts of service’ and that these acts would deeply communicate his love to her. I realized that he lacked the will to meet his wife’s need for love. He was locked into his own perception of what his role was to be and it did not include washing dishes and doing laundry. I knew at that moment that there was something more foundational than simply knowing a person’s love language.

5. What are the seven characteristics of lasting love?
I view love not as a single entity, but as a cluster of traits, which if developed will enhance all of life. These traits are:
Kindness: discovering the joy of helping others
Patience: accepting the imperfections of others
Forgiveness: finding freedom from the grip of anger
Courtesy: treating others as friends
Humility: stepping down so someone else can step up
Generosity: giving your time, money, and abilities to others
Honesty: caring enough to tell the truth

6. Why do you think it’s so hard for people to embrace these characteristics?
All of us have some of these characteristics to some degree. Most people see love as being better than hate. But most of us are comfortable to live somewhere between love and hate in a lifestyle that is fundamentally focused on self. We feel good when we are making money, accumulating things, gaining status, but in time these things do not ultimately satisfy what I call the ‘true self’. The true self longs to make the world a better place to live. To do something to help those less fortunate than we.

However, we all suffer from the malady of being ego-centric. I call this the ‘false self’. It is that part of man that pulls him to focus on self-preservation and a self-centered lifestyle. This is not all bad. Indeed we must meet our own physical and emotional needs in order to continue life. It is when we never get beyond this self focus, that life becomes a ‘dog eat dog’ world where everyone is out for self even at the expense of others. Such a life never brings long-term satisfaction. However it is often later in life that people discover the emptiness of selfish living. I’m hoping that Love as a Way of Life will help people discover the satisfaction of developing the ‘true self’ earlier in life.

Gary D. Chapman

For decades Dr. Gary Chapman’s best-selling books have shown readers how to speak the “love language” of those they care about. Now he digs even deeper to uncover the foundations of what it means to cultivate a lifestyle of love and how doing so leads to satisfaction and success in every area of life.
Drawing fresh insights from timeless biblical principles, Chapman presents poignant stories of real people who have discovered the joys of living out the seven characteristics of authentic love: kindness, patience, forgiveness, humility, courtesy, generosity, and honesty. Enhanced with eye-opening self tests, practical ideas for building daily habits of love, and inspiring examples of love’s power to change lives, this book guides readers in putting love to work in all of their interpersonal relationships.
Convinced that in a world of constant conflict people desperately need authentic love, Chapman paints a compelling vision of how life can be richer and relationships more satisfying for anyone who practices Love As a Way of Life.


drabern said...

Thank you for a splendid summary. I love your webpage name.

Katharine said...

You know, what the world needs now is love, sweet love...if it is true love, selfless love, agape love, Christ's love. Thanks for the heads up about this book. Also love the snapshot of your back yard! :)

Lil Bit and Mummy said...

I would love a copy of that book! I am always looking for better ways to love my family.

Katie said...


Great interview! I have read the five love languages book in the past, and it was great. I'm excited to hear that Dr. Chapman has this book out, too. Maybe I'll even win a copy!

Katie Hines

Connie Arnold said...

How wonderful that Dr. Chapman has a new book out, and it sounds like such a special one also. Thank you for sharing the word about your interview and giving the book away on FCW. I live in Winston-Salem, NC too.

Christine Duncan said...

It sounds wonderful, Robin--a book we all need.

~Brenda said...


Your blog looks great, and I've bookmarked it so I can keep returning. :-) I've read The Five Love Languages, and it was a great read. Would love to win another of Mr. Chapman's books.

~Brenda (from CWGI)

SueDurand said...

I'm looking forward to reading this new book. Thanks for the interview.

Anonymous said...

Sounds like a really great book Robin.

Emily A. said...

Great blog, great book summary. I've subscribed to your feed. My e-mail is Thanks.

Anonymous said...

Thanks for the FCW post to alert us of Chapman interview. I saw him on TV recently and was impressed. Your presentation is very well done. Thanks, Kat in Omaha

Carrie Turansky said...

This sounds like a wonderful book. Please enter me in the drawing.
Carrie(at)turansky(dot)com. thanks!

Kate Dolan said...

Thanks, Robin, for providing information about this book. It was a great summary of not only what the book is about, but also why most of us need it! I really struggle with selfishness, so I think I'd better look for this book. And not only do I need to buy it, I need to make time to read it and put the words into practice. I'm tired just thinking about it!

Anonymous said...

Interesting interview. Thanks, Donna

Julie Morrison said...

the last time I got a book of Dr Chapman's, my husband and I read every page together and it changed the life of everyone in our family. What a great post. Thanks for the invitation to a free book. I didn't know he'd published a new one. Thanks.

Shirley Corder said...

Thanks for a great interview, Robin. I would love to read this follow-up to The Five Love Languages. Do you post to S.Africa? shirley(at)shirleycorder(dot)com